I may be juggling a teensy bit of resentment…but first, no matter what is happening to me personally, or to my community as a whole, it is beautiful in Texas in May. That’s just a fact.
It is getting unbearably hot in the afternoon but the mornings and evenings are perfection. Heaven distilled. Pure, sweet joy.
There’s nothing the kids and I enjoy more than releasing ourselves to the wilds and comforts of the backyard. It is green, and brown, and blue, and glorious.
There is nourishment in being outside that you only feel when you get still. Even the kids feel it after a few minutes. They get along better, they laugh more freely, their eyes are bright and their small bodies get far from me as they explore on their own.
It’s like we’re tethered, any time they get too far (or too quiet) I look up from my garden, or my book, or my laptop, and track them down and check in. They’re usually not getting into too much trouble outside, unless I accidentally leave the hose on, then they are making mud and jumping in it. Then throwing it around for some reason? They may be going feral.
Covid-19 is serious and terrible, and being sequestered at home is both a blessing and a curse. It feels awful, and special? I love all this extra time with the kids. At least, I love it when they’re peacefully asleep and I get a chance to relax and let my brain unfurl the day we had.
At one point this week I had my laptop in one hand, earbuds in, recording a Zoom meeting and holding Benji back from hammering Ellie’s door with my left hand while I held the dog back with my foot and (after muting) assuring Ellie I had Benji under control and she can come out of her bedroom. Talk about juggling.
Meanwhile Bill is serenely chuckling at something someone said on his call, which he is of course not expected to have children interrupt. I get it, I get paid less, and let’s be honest probably less terrible things would happen if I get distracted and hit the wrong key.
Still. I think all of us moms out there who are working at home with or without an added paycheck need to be held up high.
We. Are. Crushing. It.
Even when we’re not, you know why? Because we are there, day in, day out, doing what needs to be done. And we don’t hide in offices (for long) and we don’t sleep in (often) and when we’re all sitting on the couch watching a movie, it is mom who gets asked to bring the snacks, am I right?
So, yeah. Good job guys. Hang in there. Take pictures. Sleep well. While you’re at it, swap the jammies for a high-powered suit or dress on a random Wednesday. And if anyone asks, it’s Fancy Pants Day. Why? Because you FEEL GOOD when you’re dressed up. Then it FEELS SO GOOD to get into your jammies again! Yesssss!
Much love to you all, hang in there, you got this, dress up, and wash your hands, eh?