What To Say When Your Friend Asks You If You’re Pregnant and You’re Not:

It’s crunch time…
It’s a busy time of year for me, it’s Bill’s birthday, a day later my dad’s birthday, then three days after that Ellie’s birthday.  Throw in teacher appreciation week, Mother’s Day looming and a big change in Ellie’s swim times and teachers and you’ve got one very ‘thrown off’ momma.  

Especially since my momma and da live so far away – I need to remember the special days WEEKS in advance people so I can send them the carefully picked cards and thoughtful gifts in time for the US and Canadian mail system to poke along and get it there in time.
ANYHOO I left Baskin Robbins yesterday with a very disappointing looking cake for her party and totally forgot about the full cup of iced vitamin water I got at Subway sitting precariously on top of the middle console.
One sharp left turn, one ice-cold shower all over my lap.  Quite refreshing on my hind quarters I must say.  
Luckily at the last minute I switched from sweet lemonade to vitamin water, otherwise I would have had to stop and CLEAN UP that mess.  There’s no sugar in vitamin water is there?  Do ants get into vans?  Won’t it just smell really good while it sits in the hot Texas sun?  
*Sigh.  Most of my future problems I create right now.  I can see it.  Being self-aware is half the battle folks.
So, the party.  I keep reminding myself as long as there are lots of balloons, and cake, Ellie will be happy and isn’t that the whole point?  I rented a bounce house this year and I’m already kind of regretting it.  Do we really need that for the handful of kids that will be here?  
Parties are fun but they also kind of stress me out.  This year I invited kids from Ellie’s class – 10 kids and I got three RSVP’s.  Will the rest show?  It’s a birthday mystery.  

It makes me a little nervous having people I don’t know here at my home.  Not nervous like, hide the good silver, nervous like, I hate rejection and this is putting myself out there to be judged and rejected.
Wow I have issues.
Putting that aside it’s also Bill’s birthday this weekend and I’ve arranged to have a few close friends stay after Ellie’s party and have dinner with us.  All without telling Bill.  I’ve arranged his favorite food, his favorite desert, some of his favorite people and…ok that’s it but it feels like a lot.  Especially since his favorite place isn’t open the day of the party and of course, they don’t deliver regardless.
Anyway, thanks to some very good friends I have arranged to have a little party for him and HE KNOWS NOTHING!!  Hee hee hee.
No, I’m not worried he’ll read this and find out.  He had to get up last night at 4am to check for an email for a deadline at work.  Then he stayed up, got dressed, and just went in to work.
He barely has enough time to read my instant messages.  (Get milk on the way home…Benji peed on me while I was nursing him…Ellie just picked her nose and then ran her fingers through my hair…)  You know.  The usual every-day stuff.
I spend days and weeks stressing over getting every detail right.  (Daniel Tiger plates AND cups?  Red and yellow plastic forks?  Red and yellow steamers too much?  Why is there no red or yellow number 3 balloon!?)  Gray it is.  Did I buy too many balloons?  (No.  Never).  

Why is this $60 ice cream cake so stinking plain?  Is the red sparkles and white sugar beads I bought at HEB today going to be enough to ‘girly’ it up?

She needs a party dress!  New shoes, she can’t wear SNEAKERS with the SUPER PUFFY purple dress she picked out at Costco.  Socks?  She can’t wear knee-high’s or her gray athletic socks with pretty dress shoes.  

DOES THIS NEVER END?  (No.  No it doesn’t.  Does she need matching hair bows?  Do I?) 
I try to spend time looking at my house the way a stranger would.  Maaaaybe get rid of the Christmas ornaments that have been sitting on the kitchen counter since November?  
And the day comes and I’ve forgotten something critical (Ice, juice boxes for the kids, whatever) but we all just move on.  I’m happy because my friends are there, the house is messy again and filled with kids screaming and babies crying and dogs barking and there’s nothing else to do but relax and go with the flow.
This quote may be a little too serious for a blog about parties but, I like it and I’m writing this so…here you go:
Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism.  It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.”  Vaclav Havel.

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